Flying Confusion

I wish i can say i am organized; however i lately have not been. There is so much confusion and mess all around me that i find it hard to concentrate and gather my thoughts. Leaving me to feel unprepared. Un-organization does not only affect me; but the people around me. I discovered that today. It's funny cause, i have an agenda. A nice regular- sized black agenda that has pages in which to write important dates. These pages are clear; barely written on. I never knew how unorganized that i was until now. For me, i enjoy having multiple things to get done;it keeps me busy. But, with being busy comes the responsibility to plan my daily routine.

Many people have the same problem. In a society so face-paced and changing, we need to be able to have proper organization. I rather have a sense of order rather than disaster. It keeps you from having a break down; the need to toss all the work to the side with a fed up attitude. The more i think about the subject of organization, the more i realize its importance.

My goal is to organized daily. Now is the time, to blow the dust from over my day planner and begin writing. There is so much to remember.

Dream in White

Amongst the chaos; is a discovery waiting to be revealed. That revealing is me. When i look at the picture (above) i think of myself standing out of a vast sea of people. For me, the sense of being different is one that i know is a blessing. The same is not what interests people and catches their attention; it is the new that brings that feeling. To see what has not been seen, to say what has never been said and to be where people dream of being is powerful. With that said, i know that the opinions of others towards me and the opinions of myself are two different things. In society, this revealing is good; however, certain people see it as a threat. A threat that can cause one to feel like they can not rise to the standards that seem to be better than theirs. For this , is what causes negativity, put downs and exclusion. The objective: to make those who are different think they are not worth acknowledgement. The truth is you are worth it.

As touched on early, others can have many different opinions and views of you and what is done. But, where the opinions and the views really matter are the ones that rest in your heart. That is where true happiness lies. Remembering that you can offer something unique to the world is inspiring. That inspiration drives success; success i along with many others wish to experience. The color white is defined as bright; like a light shinning. In a large society, i am standing out. Im standing out in white.

Black on Black

I was searching the web and i stumbled upon this picture on www.lookbook.nu. I think that it is incredibly cute and fashionable. I definitely see myself wearing this outfit. I am the kind of girl that loves to wear black on black on black on black ( just like this picture) I love the simplicity of it, yet it makes a big statement. I can not wait to go shopping again. I would love to buy this look. :) Every piece of this outfit stands out to me. From the hat, to bag to the shoes.

Beginning

Sometimes, we feel that an end is near.

An ending of something great.

For me, i try not to believe that. I like to be a positive thinker. One who strives on faith and hope. The last week of January tested me on such. For what it apart of my life now is a blessing. A blessing that i prayed for numerous times, but never knew where it would be found. This blessing is what i would like to call FAMILY. This family, consists of real friends. For a long while i have been struggling with finding true friends. People that would uplift me, support me and always make me feel trusted. Discovering these friends is what made me realize what true friendship really was. Thus, allowing me to see previous friendships for what they really are: Hindrances. Hindering me from real happiness, growth and acceptance. Making me all the more stronger to walk away from "friendships" that i had before. A time comes for all of us to be a little separated from each other, which i feel like I and others may not be ready for. But, i believe that i can, we can be strong in this temporary change. For me, i have never had such real friends and being parted from there scares me. But, i know that God put them in my life for a reason. I believe that we will always be together to build upon what we have already; learning and growing from each other. I know that we will work with each other again and make our dreams come true together. Never have a felt so sure about my friendships until i met them. Know, i can truly say i have the right people in my life.

I feel happy

I feel proud

I feel ecnouraged

I feel accepted

I feel loved

I feel blessed...

my prayers have been answered.

It is not the end, it is a new beginning.

A brand new chapter soon to unfold.

I love you so much.

Are you deserving?

Do i really miss them?

I do not believe so.

Do you ever have the feeling that you do not miss those who have hurt you in the past?

I do.

These people that i do not miss, where supposed to be my friends. I have not seen them in a while and i kinda do not care to see them. The pain that has been caused is one that i feel will always hinder us from a strong friendship. I remember the days like they were yesterday, the rejection, the invisibility, the forgotteness. I remember it all. And surprisingly, i did feel surprised.

Those are frustrating friendships. The kind that you do not want anything to do with. The more i think about it, the more i realize, i have to forgive them. I have to be the bigger person. Whether they do know that i have forgiving them or not, i have to get rid of the hurt that has been resting in my heart for a long time. I know that it is the right thing to do. Holding on to those hard times will not let me grow as a person but, will break me; destroy me. I do not want that.

I know that i am not the only one that feels this way. Everyone has had someone hurt them in one way or another. Although the hurt is hard to deal with i believe that forgiveness for that person is what challenges us the most. Forgiveness is what we must have. Although it may seem like the person (s) may not deserve it, that would not be true. Everyone deserves forgiveness no matter what.

Forgiveness brings healing.

Healing that i and many people in the world need right now.

Your best is good enough

Second Chances?

An opportunity to do better.

I would take it.

It is great when we have the opportunity to have a second chance to achieve something. It makes us feel like what ever was done previously can be improved and no longer be regretted. For me i am giving a second chance to do something over again and make it better than it was before. Sometimes, things do not go the way we want it to go. Such is life. I learned that today. One of my inspirations told me today that 'we can not always be on the mountain top. Sometimes, we have to be the valley. Today i felt like the valley. Since, i was not satisfied with what i have achieved i began to realize how successful other people were. This in turn made me feel bad. I was also told by the same person that 'we should not be jealous of others but, be happy for them.' That is what i had to tests myself on today. Feeling like the person that did not accomplish what was intended can be very hard. But, i believe that everything happens for a reason.

This situation caused me to not think about myself but, to think of others. It feels good. To applaud someone and realize that this is their time to shine and mine will come in due time. You see, i have been given another chance to make things better. It is just up to me if i feel ready enough to do so.

I know that it is within me. It can be hurtful when your true potential does not get to show the way you know it can.

I gave it my best at the time. I know that there is more ahead. I just have to be patient and still be grateful for what i offered. It is better than nothing at all.

Long Steps.

Part of me is anxious to go to University. I want to start my career as soon as i come out of high school. However, i am still deciding am i going to live on Campus or live at home? The cool thing about living on campus in that i am in the heart of the city skyline but,that can also be the frighting thing. Cause living on campus is a big step for me. If i live at home i get to see my family everyday rather than some days. The hard thing about all these decisions is that i need to make them by end of the school year: June.

The road to University is a long step that is creeping up faster than ever. It can seem overwhelming. But since i have everything figured out beside residence i am not totally freaking out. I vision my school life; just like the picture above: Sophisticated. Which is what i want :). As time moves faster, i realize that i am no longer a little girl anymore, i am an adult. It is exciting yet, nerve racking to call myself that cause i never expected to hear myself say those words. At least, not yet, not so soon. My parents have been given away freedom to me and are expecting more which to is expected as you get older. It feels weird sometimes though. I have had those moments where i wish i was a kid again just having fun, carefree with no worries and at times, i am glad that i am older. The fact is that time does not wait for us the way we wish it would. Even when we are not ready it basically says: "too bad." That is why we have to embrace every second we are giving and realize that it will not come back.

We all have those regrets that we had managed time better or did something else instead. But instead of regretting the past move on from it because at this very moment you are given a chance to do something that you will be grateful for. As my future comes closer i want to use my time up until then to do something that will change my life, open my eyes, uplift me and make me a better person. As i start to do that,then i will be ready for University.

I will be ready to be an adult.

Seeing Tripple

They say that fashion makes a statement.

They are right.

My kind of fashion are interesting pieces (like the one above) that can be found on the catwalk or at a community thrift shop. The picture above really does display what i see myself wearing. For, fashion is a big deal and is very important to me. I always like to look my best whether i am going to the store, school or across the street. In the past, i was a tomboy, but i kinda still am. I believe that those who pride themselves on always looking presentable will; be successful in life. To tell you the honest truth, people do watch how you dress. It is a natural thing.

Not to say, that you can not have those dress down days, but you shouldn't make it a constant thing. You do not have to be a girly girl or be rich to look good . You can look good regardless. The fact of the matter is, fashion is fun for me because i get to be creative. And creativity is huge to me. I always like to be creative. Fashion just might be fun for you too.

Express yourself through what you wear, it makes you feel good.

Strong Embrace

Opportunities come...

Will we embrace them.

I believe that it is important to not let opportunities pass us by. Instead, we should go after them and use them to our advantage as possible. For many opportunities have been coming up in terms of my future career and the part-time job i have right now. What i have learned is to make the best out of what you are given and not take it for granted. It can always be taken away from you if you do. When i think about what i have been blessed to do so many people around the world would love to do and can't. To know that i have the opportunity to live in a country so safe and away from natural disasters is a blessing and when the national anthem comes on, i want to stand strong and proud of the country that i am blessed to live in. The disaster in Haiti is frightening and sad and i know that the people in that country would love to feel safe and away from all that grief. This was a wake call to me and to the rest of the world; to give thanks and also lend a helping hand to those who need it. Sometimes, we are so busy with our daily lives that we walk past someone in need and we do not realize it. In turn, this issue has forced all of us to pay attention and to support each other. Everywhere you turn donations are being collected and the news stations are always giving new reports on the country everyday.

Haiti has given us an opportunity to think about others rather than ourselves. Are we going to forget it or embrace it?

Yes or no?

It is weird how you figure out who your real friends are.

It just suddenly hits you that their friendship is not what you thought it was or wanted to be.

You see, i found out the truth.

It is hard when you try so hard to be friends with someone(s) and they do not give you the time of day. Hurts your feelings huh? Well, that was my problem being friends with people who just did not appreciate me for the way i deserve to be as a person. This has been happening for a while, almost too long. You would have thought that i would get the hint, but i guess that just shows how strong my determination was. These girls made me feel left out, forgotten and not wanted in their presence., There was the occasional moments where they would be so nice to me, ask to hang out, tell some secrets and just overall feel like i was finally getting to know them. I thought my hard work had paid off.... i do not think so. For, when things appeared to be better, it turns out it never went anywhere. They would go and treat me the same way as before. talk about confusing! Well, it got me thinking... is this friendship mean to be? How much is it worth for me to gain their friendship? Is it that important to me? These questions made me realize that i guess i really don't. If "friends" are going to treat you that way then they are not really "friends". Friends are people in your life that always treat you the way they are meant to be treated. They do not decided when to respect you or lean on you when they need something from you. That is not the friendships i want nor should they be friendships that you want either. I leaned what true friendship was to me and what it should feel like within my heart and what it should look like. Sometimes, we want a friendship that we may never for a reason. I had to let go of stop trying to impress to gain what i wanted and let what ever happens happen. I am better of that way.

Take the time to think about the value of your friendships and if there is a friendship that you want first ask yourself the questions i asked myself too:

Is this friendship important to me?

Why this friendship important to me?

How to i value frienship?

What does friendship look like?

How does friendship feel like?

Cause if you gain that friendship you want to make sure that it contains the elements of true friendship.

I have found true friendships in my life that i am blessed to have and much rather have then the others. The right people come into your life for the right reasons. Never take them for granted and always remember to give thanks for them. Those friendships have touched my heart and made me the better person that i am today. Those are the friendships i want. They are the friendships i need.

I thank God for that.

Heavy Gravity

It weighs you down.

You know what else does? Peer Pressure.

We have all been there; pressured to do something or to be someone. It can be hard sometimes not to give in into pressure for many reasons. Maybe the convincing was strong or maybe the need to feel included was resting inside of you. The deal with pressure is that it causes you to do something that is not in your best interest. When you pretend to be what you are not, you are lieing to yourself and to others. No one likes a lier. In reality, the truth comes up eventually no matter how much you try to hid it. Some may deny ever being pressured into doing something, when they're heart is saying something different.

What people need to do is always look in the right direction. Choose what is right for themselves and not what other people believe is right. To not give into peer pressure you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you are far to special to involve yourself into what you know is not worth your time and attention. You have to stand up for yourself. Tell those that pressure you that it is not for you. I am currently filming a Docudrama based on peer pressure. In one of my scenes i was a girl being pressured to join my friends in bullying another girl. My character was someone that tries hard not to give into pressure. She declares that bullying is not for her and gives a quick speech on how the issue is not cool. Then, i walk away with the bully victim making my statement clear: I will not give into peer pressure! We need to be more like that character, that no matter how cool something may look or how powerful it makes you feel, we need to remember that we should demonstrate change and not go against it.

Heavy gravity is like climbing the top of a mountain. The higher you go, the harder it is being pushed down on you as you continue. The same is with Pressure, the father you go, the harder it may be. But, what will make the difference and cause success is if you do not give up.

Pressure is heavy gravity, but strength will help you overcome that weight.

An escape

Everyone deserves an escape. An escape from bullying.

I would not say that everyone has experienced bullying, but i high percentage has. I am one of those percentages.

I remember my experience about bullying. Maybe not, every detail; however, enough to tell a story about it. You see, there is something about bullying that everyone understands; but yet it is still very complex. Bullying is an issue that is getting serious as time progresses. I created my own personal foundation called Stand Strong Foundation. Using my experience with bullying i want to reach out to those who feel like they are alone in their situation. That feeling of loneliness is quite understand able seeing as how many people do not take the right steps into solving a situation. I want to spread awareness and encourage others that being respectful benefits you more than disrespect.

It is not easy to go through bullying especially alone. People are starting to take alternate routes to ending the bullying in a way that does not create a happy ending. And for others. they things turned around for them. Things definitely turned around for me... in the weirdest way. But, i am not complaining :P

We all need to stand up for each other. Making others people feel bad about themselves only makes you look like the person in need of help because if you need to bully others to make yourself feel better than you are actually the weaker person. It's makes sense. When i realized this, it made me feel better about myself because i realized i was not weak ( which was not want i wanted to be). You see, everyone needs to know that bullying hurts. Yes, i am aware that you have probably heard that in every assembly, hundreds of commercials and have discussed this everyday as apart of the class rules with your classmates and teachers. but it is true. For people who hear it so much, they are still either letting it happen before them or are the ones causing that problem. It needs to end. Bullying is serious. No one wants to be a victim so do not pick one. Be inspired to make a change.

It is within in you.

Never say Never.

Why do we easily doubt ourselves sometimes. We allow people's opinions and thoughts; whether good or bad help us to determine our success in the future. When we do that, we depend on other people. When someone tells you that 'you can not do it or 'you will not make it far' it is up to you to determine whether or not you want to believe those comments. When you hear discouragement it can hurt greatly. These words can also challenge you to focus more on your goals and believe in yourself. Words such as these are what no one wants to hear; but, words of encouragement is what inspires us to persevere and grow. Doubt is a harmful feeling that you do not want to feel inside. We have all had our own share of doubts and i am sure it is not enjoyable. However, what defeats doubt is faith. When you block out all the negativity and chose to remain positive your goals will become successful. Never say that you will not make it to wear you want to be. Never say that you do not have what it takes to be successful. Never say that you are not worth it. Everyone is worth reaching they're goals. It just starts with faith and inspiration.

Creativity for the mind.

Creativity is the discovery of new ideas. Creativity is beautiful. Creatvity can be found within anyone who is willing to use it. The more you use it the stronger it becomes. I love creativity. The ability to use your imagination to create something different and knew that no one may have thought about before. Creatvity has created many of the amazing things that you see around you. For me, creativity is important. Today, i was reminded of something special. Something that was explained to me in a way that opened my eyes and inspired to me grow as an artist. I was reminded about creativity. I already know about this blessing, however, i still learned knew things. As an artist specializing in music and acting, developing my craft and expanding my knowledge is very important to me. I was told that i was a visionary. Someone who creates the vision and has the power to make it a reality. Although many of the things that i learned today stuck out in my mind, on of which would be this: You will not go anywhere with just dreaming, but you will when you turn those dreams into goals. This made a lot of sense to me, because me along with my exclusive small group of friends i call family, we are all dreamers. We have big dreams that we are determined to find success in. We all love what we do; it is a passion in our hearts. The inspiration speech made me more determined to go out and find success rather than just wasting time. Time is something that we can never get back. So what can you say that you have done with the time that you are giving? Well, i would love to say that i spent my time in growth. Honing my skills and finding inspiration that can develop a stonger creative artistic mind. That is creativity.

Taken Over

Like every high school teenager, i am working on exams. Exams can be a stressful and busy time. Many people become very overwhelmed with all the work that needs to get done in a short period of time. Which can leave you feeling like you will have a nervous breakdown. However, depending on how strong your work ethics are will determine how well you can handle this serious season. Overwhelment is the feeling that is commonly felt. One tends to feel powerless; like there is no strength within you. You may think to yourself, "how can i feel strong while having an overwhelmed state of mind?" To be honest only you can answer that question for yourself. Only you know your work ethic. You have to ask yourself, 'what can i improve on?" that can help you feel more under control. The answer can be different for anyone. It could be: not leaving everything for the last minute, not doubting yourself or even using resources that can calm you down and relieve stress. The options are endless. Personally, what helps me is not leaving everything to the last minute as well as not doubting myself or what i am capable of achieving. Remaining call in overwhelming moments can be difficult, but it is possible.

Imagination

Here is the song: I can only Imagine- Mercy Me

I can only imagine. My imagination grows greatly when i think of the lord. I am a Christian and my morals and beliefs are very important to me. When i listen to this song: I can only imagine by Mercy Me, it makes me wonder about the world i am living in and the greatness of the lord that i serve. With me, i am not afraid to be open about my Christianity. It takes alot for one Christian to be so strong in their beliefs. For one, it takes a true connection with the lord to not be ashamed. The song reminds me of the vast wonders of how great the lord is and how fun it is to discover them and understand them so beautifully. When i learn something new i always have to give God thanks cause many people may not know what i have learned as well as the benefit that it gives you. " I can only Imagine" is an amazing song that uplifts you and brings tears of joy to your eyes. This song encourages me to gain the power that only the lord can give to make me strong in him. I love moments where you can turn on songs like those and just reminisce on everything. It is truly beautiful and i thank God for those songs that i can always listen to when i need it. If you have not heard the song before i encourage you as a Christian or someone who is just learning about him to listen to it. It will change your life. It certainly has changed my life and my perspective of it. God Bless,

Momento Mori

Flyleaf, a rock band of 5 whom i find one of my favorite artists ever. Part of why i love flyleaf is their unique music and their ability to draw you to their music. I am personally a rock/country person. Some people find that weird, but i do not care what people think. I am my own person and i love that. Those genres are what touches my heart. In other words, flyleaf created a new album called Memento Mori and as soon as i heard about it i went onto my iTunes and started downloading it into my iPod. The songs are amazing and catchy. In every album their songs get better and better. Which was part of what made me so excited to hear their songs. Some day i really want to see them play live. At this point i am playing one of their songs: Beautiful Bride. I am the kind of person that likes to hear unique music that has a unique message. And the fact that they are Christian as well is really awesome cause i am one as well. The lead singer, Lacey is an amazing singer and her voice is beautiful as well as unique. I will always be a fan of their music.

Here is the song i was listening to:Flyleaf - Beautiful Bride

New.

Christmas has come and gone and now the new years is on its way. Looking back, its hard to believe that another year is about the pass. I can not help but reminisce on everything that has happened this year. All of the adversity that i have gone through and how i overcome them as well as the good moments that i wish could be recreated just one more time. The year 2009, has been a good one and although i am excited for what the new year will bring i will also miss this year. Sometimes, looking back you may feel the need to have done something better or may have not done something at all. Its okay to feel that way; however its better not to think about the past. Thinking about the present and future is what will make the difference that you are looking for. When the new year of 2010 arrives, i plan to make the best of it no matter what; that is part of my new years resolutions. Some people write off a whole lists of resolutions, which is not bad. But for me, i like to focus on one or two things so that they are easier to remember and fulfill with the best of my ability. Although it feels like the ending, its not. It's a beginning. A fresh start that i want to take advantage of.

What are your thoughts on the new year and the one that is about to leave us?

Snowflakes on my tongue.

So, i guess we all have noticed already; but winter is here. The snow is falling right now as i speak and i wish i could go outside right now and stick my tongue in the air; catch those beautiful snowflakes that fall so nicely from the sky. Some say that winter sucks. 1) it is so cold outside. 2) Walking in the snow is a pain and 3) why love the snow when the sun seems to benefits you more, its warm and simply why not right? Well, regardless of the cold, the snow and the fact that summer is enjoyable i find that winter is magical. By magical i do not mean Santa Claus and his reindeer. I mean the magic of imagination and wonder. Something about the winter gives me imagination and wonder that i like so greatly. The ability to go outside and make snow angles or simply watching the snow fall is beautiful and brings joy and peace in your heart. It also brings enjoyment, it is easy to have fun and enjoy life. Now a days everyone is to busy buying gifts and shopping to really enjoy the holidays the way it was intended. There is nothing wrong with buying gifts and shopping; but when that is all you do you take the true meaning of the holidays out of your normal routine. This Christmas, my goal is to focus more on the joy and togetherness of the holidays rather than shopping consistently. It seems to me that the holidays would not feel the same to me without some snow on the ground. That could be simply because i am truly Canadian and the fact that i am a winter girl; born in the heart of winter. What i find to be a highlight is the first snow fall of the season. As the time gets cold you gather around the fire with a hot chocolate and think about life and others as well as the blessings. Furthermore, winter is a time for me to grow as a person because it brings so much emotion and thought that you would have to walk away with some form of growth within you ( which is what i love). Winter is a blessing and i am so grateful for its existence.

I love winter and nothing could ever change that.

Not that far Away

Today, my school had what is called "Life After High School" in which previous students would tell you about their post-secondary experiences and give you advice. Well, i was excited because i wanted to hear more about what post-secondary was like and an insight on how to make it through those years. My class went to the presentation along with many other students and we learned alot. There was no one representing the University that i want to go to, but that did not matter. In many ways i was prepared for post-secondary, but in some ways i do not think i am. I guess money for tuition would be one of them. Thinking about the future; it seems a long time away when in realty it is not. The future is constantly occurring and time now a days are moving fast. And as a senior in high school now i am staring to realize that cracking down on my plans and making them a reality should start happening from now rather than when i graduate. There is a lot to think about that can make you anxious or nervous. There is transportation, tuition, books, food, you education, and the school itself. Post-secondary is a big jump from high school because the teachers and the atmosphere are not the same. Sometimes, you might wish it were, but there is a reason why they are not and it actually benefits you in the end. The atmosphere of a university and the teachers provide you with an insight on how the real world is. I do not know about you, but i rather have an idea of how the real world is rather than have the same high school routine repeat again. Skipping, procrastination are examples of what can hold you back in post-secondary if you bring it from high school into post-secondary. It is so important to prepare ourselves. There is only so much that one can explain to you who has been to post-secondary, but it is up to you to listen and be willing to prepare yourself and make your years in school count for something. After all, you are paying to be in that class so put your money into good use and learn. That is what i plan to do.

Edgy. Perfessional. Photography

Edgy? Of course. I stumbled upon this photography while i was reaching the website www.lookbook.nu and i really like it. I personally love clothing that are edgy and different and this is one of the outfits that i can see myself wearing. Although, The clothes are great it is not the only thing that i noticed about the picture. I noticed the picture itself. It was nicely taken and it looks very professional. I discovered that i have a passion for photography that i would love to gain experience in. I guess i like photography so much because it is just another way to express yourself and be creative; which i love. Photography can be taken of anything nature, people or a thing. I tend to go for a edgy feel when i take pictures. I like to make them different as well as appealing. When i look at a picture i like when it captures my attention. I am hoping that in future projects that i do in photography that i have the same impact on someone else as well.

Now?

If Your Out There

If Your Out There, by John Legend is a song that personally inspires me. The song uplifts me and makes me feel like I am capable of making a change in the world. In world that desperately needs change, we should all be encouraging leadership and be willing to develop our knowledge. The lyrics of "If Your Out There", are powerful and strongly put together. It really makes me think about the world and the people living in it. People often think, "i am too small to make an impact on such a big world. What is the point of trying to make a difference when they're are a billion other people that can take on that responsibility." When we think like that we make ourselves smaller than we were meant to be. Each and every one of us are called to make an impact on the world in a way that we feel passionate for. For example: a campaign. My personal campaign is about youth violence. I want to see a change in the world revolving the impacts of youth violence. You see, change can be found in anything that will benefit the world. Believing in yourself is what drives the need to make a change. I think that if everyone took the time to listen to this song and the message that it has, you will be inspired as well. There is so much that can be done that can make a difference. Being a leader is one of them. I am a leader and i inspire to grow stronger.

If you have not heard the song "If You Are Out There", by John Legend, i am giving you an opportunity to hear it right now.

I hope that it will empower you as much as it has empowered me.

Damaged?

Why is it so hard for us to accept the truth about something that we least want to hear about. When humans are told something that they do not want to believe about themselves or others they go into a denial stage of some sorts. "That is not true" or "you do not know what you are talking about" are examples of what people generally say. The saying "the truth hurts" can be true based on a number of reasons: 1) because we do not want to believe that we are in the wrong of something and 2) We do not want others to see the wrong in what we have done. The truth is, humans allow the truth that they hear to hurt them; they do not want to be corrected. So, how can the truth be told without the hurt that seems to come with it. The answer is: nothing. There is nothing that you can do to make truth less painful then what others want to make it for themselves. The truth is supposed to set you free, which is a commonly used saying. Since truth is given positively then why do we take negatively. We turn a healing power into one that can do you harm. The fact of the matter is, we do not understand the complete use of truth and how it can benefit us. Doing that, effects us negatively and does not allow us to develop as better humans in this society. Sometimes, hearing the truth can be hard, but it is up to us to allow truth to heal us and make us stronger. Allowing someone to be honest with us is so much better than allowing someone to lie to us. If you think about.. what develops a better impact on your life. When you hear the truth be grateful for it, cause a lie could have been easily told.

At the end of the day, the truth may hurt; but, lies do so much for damage.

Double

There voices were all around me, talking at once. I could barely think let alone answer their question." "Come on, Sara said, Who is going to be? Us or her? " There was so much i wanted to say; but couldn't find the words to say them. I wanted to say," Who do you think you are i am sticking with Jen. She is a better friend and i would never treat her the way you do." I couldn't. Sara and her friends scare me to much to speak my mind. I fear that they would hurt me if i made the decision that they did not want to hear. But, come to think of it.. they did give me a choice. In that case, why not chose what i know is best for me. " Hurry Up," Sara barked. "We do not have all day. Who did you chose." At this point i was getting anxious. I knew what my answer was; but, how could i tell them. Thinking about the benefits of either side made me rethink my decision. Jen and I have a strong friendship. She is caring and trustworthy. Come to think of it, she is the best friend that i have ever had. Sara, well she is just popular. Although her negativity and disrespect can bring me down , she makes me feel accepted by others. Her social status makes me look cool. I remember sharing with my Mother about the situation that i have been in for quite some time. Along with my decision and what would be best for me. She kept it brief and said, "Do what your heart leads you to." How would i know what my heart feels? I guess i will find out.

Their eyes were staring at me know and i could tell they were getting impatient. I recollected my thoughts and make sure that i understood what i was doing. I looked around me and i knew that my choice will change everything. I knew that i was going to lose a friend today.. but who? I tried to look back in the past to give me an idea of where my fond memories cam from. At that moment i felt like i knew what my heart we telling me. It was scary, yet reassuring all at the same time. I was ready to share my choice. "I am going to stay with Jen, i said. I shared briefly shared my reason and my friendship with Jen. I surprising did not feel any fear to see what they're reaction to my choice would be. I* walked away that day feeling happier and stronger. Yes, my days of popularity is over, but i do not care. I do not need that social status to feel acceptance. Jen makes me feel accepted and thats all that matters. I d not think that i lost anything at all. In fact, i feel like i just got ride of what has been holding me back. Thanks for caring and for the great advice. It helped out a greatly.

Samantha.

We are all faced with so many choices in life that it is impossible to go along with all of them. In this case, Samantha was given a choice between two friendships. Some chose the good choices that will give them a good outcome and others.. well.. lets just say they're is no good outcome. The choices that we make can lead into a sacrifice that we may just not be ready for yet, and thats okay. But what we all need to keep in mind is thinking everything through thoroughly so that they are no surprises at the end. Samantha thought her decision through and did what she knew was right. If we all take this in mind, there would be many people who would feel as confident in choosing the right decision.

Thinking

I have to think.

I have to think about...you.

I have to think about the life that i see you living everyday. The decisions you make and the path that you take. The future that unfolds daily does not get better. Sometimes, i fear for your stability. You have no stability in your life. Why must you continue to let the weight of the world bring you down. Going with the flow rather than thinking about what has the better outcome in your life. You see, you get ahead of yourself. Thinking that you are far to superior to see negativity unfold before your eyes; far to superior to ever see yourself on the opposite end of destruction. You think your superior. The truth is, you are not even close and you never will be. Why must you do what you know is wrong? Do you care? Are you aware of the damage that you are causing? You are hurting yourself. It's like cutting yourself with a knife; but, not feeling the pain as the blood drips from your skin. You are causing damage to yourself. Whats left? Scars that will always remind you of the disobediences that led you to that state of constant remembrance. So do not blame others, blame yourself. Do you ever envision being a leader? I know i do. To see change in a world that desperately needs it? To encourage others who do not have any inspiration? Do you see any of that? Wouldn't you want a change in yourself?

Think about where you are going.

Think about the time you wasted.

Think about the people you have hurt.

Think about the generation you could inspire.

Change can start within anyone. Before you can learn to see change in others. You have to learn to see it within yourself.

Stop and Stare

Fashion is something that can make a huge statement whether the statement made is simple or over- the top. To me, fashion is a way of expression and can really give people a perspective of the kind of person that you are. The kind of fashion that i gravitate to the most are unique pieces that are original and can not easily be found. I also like clothes that are edgy as well as vintage. I am the kind of girl that likes to wear black on black on an everyday basis. Touching on the topic of fashion; i stumbled upon this picture (above) on a site that i find my friends and I are always referring to: www.lookbook.nu. Its a great site for fashion purposes and features many pictures( like the one above) of people around the world demonstrating different unique outfits. When i look at the outfit (above) i think of a stop and stare moment; when people can not help but stop to look at you because you stand out. This outfit is a mixture of rock/edgy which i love; and the glasses adds more drama to the outfit. I have always been the one who wants to stand out of the crowd. The whole "fitting in, being like everyone else and doing what others were doing," was never an option for me. Being different is what i strive for daily and i am not ashamed to be. One of the ways that i demonstrate how different i am is by the way i dress. The picture above really does remind me of something that i would love wear. I want to inspire others and be a leader. I am very drawn to every article of clothing that has been put together. From the glasses to the leather jacket to the shoes. Leather happens to be a very popular fashion statement this year. Sometimes, people have the idea that to look so fashionable you have to buy expensive brand name clothing; which is not the truth. Although, these clothing brands have nice clothing, it is possible to find fashionable clothing that is more affordable. Thinking about, cheap clothing stores such as Thrift Shops have unique clothing that many people do not have. I guess part of the reason why i love vintage so much is not only because it's unique and nice; but, also because vintage clothing has a story that can be told. Just being able to know it's history interests me and brings more meaning to my clothes.

When i buy clothes i want it to be a stop and stare moment: in a good way. I want people to say: "Wow where did you get that?" Express yourself through your clothes. Make a stop and Stare moment. I plan to do so.

"OMG did you see what she was wearing?"

Personal? Just Business.

Yea well, nothing personal but it's just business. The business that i am referring to is the entertainment industry. There is a certain level of professionalism that we need to demonstrate at all times. There are many different roles that make up the industry that we may not even be familiar with. There are many behind the scenes work that go into creating what you can see in front of you. The truth is simply that, being in front of the camera is just as important as being behind the camera. Sometimes it can be hard to look past that when you have your mind set on something that you want;however, it is important that you realize because there is always room for opportunity. In other words, its hard to see different opportunities if you are only searching in one place. Ever job, whether you are the stage manager or the person that holds a bottle of water, has a purpose and is important. With the many jobs that come with the industry also comes the feeling of rejection and lose of chances. There is always a vision that is created in the directors mind of how things will be done. The director thinks of what he/she wants and includes what will make that vision become a reality;therefore, that may cause for people or props to be excluded from the creating of that vision. This action does not mean that you do not matter, it simply means that you do not have what the director is looking for. Yes it can be disappointing;but, taking constructive criticism only makes you stronger. You should not let you personal feelings get in the way. I believe that it takes professionalism to grow from your experiences and seize every moment that is given to you. Continue to learn and grow and build upon that foundation. Remember its nothing personal it's just business.

Capture a moment in time

What gives the incentive to capture moments in time? The memories? Or just a no reason moment. For me, memories are a big thing. I like to have something to look back one and familiarize myself with. Although the past is gone. I want to feel like i am reliving it in the future. There is something interesting about looking back on an old photograph or watching an old home video that makes it fun and exciting. It brings an emotional moment that allows you to look back on life as it has progressed. Old Memories are something that you can grow up with because you create it everyday. Its fascination never gets old. There is always something new to draw back on. Life moves quickly and sometimes we fail to stop and think about it as we move along. Not taking the time to appreciate the things that make us experience each and everyday. Old moments makes us look at how far we have come. We really come to understand the growth and development that we have had because of those moments. Capture a moment in time that you feel is worth while. Well.. since every moment is worth while.. that would be a whole lot of pictures don't you think? :)

Turned Around

Tonight, i felt that a situation had taken a drastic turn from bad to good. Now sometimes it can be hard to see light in the darkness; however, i have living proof that it will and can happen: only if you believe that it can. Today, i had fear that i was not capable of overcoming what seemed to have no reason of occurring. it brought me to a state of mind in which created fear. I knew that i had to be strong; but, the tears seemed to have wanted to fall. And there would be no way stopping it. The voice in my head said, "stay strong, have faith. Do not let it bring you down." I tried to save the tears for later, where it was secret rather than in front of everyone who would ask: "whats wrong?" I did not want to draw attention. I wanted to be strong. I fought the fought; but it took someone who believed in me, to actually want to confide more deeply. At that point, the tears started to fall, i knew that it was time to cry. The words that were giving to me by this friend built great encouragement within me. Making me go beyond what i was used to. Taking that extra step that i could not miss as long as i focused and gave it all i got. In that moment what seemed to be a persons brought down was my uplifting. Allowing me to grow and reach for the stars that were in the sky that night. I walked out of that room with a smile on my face that no one could erase. I was giving a peace of mind that i wanted so greatly. You see, sometimes we just need the encouraging words of others for inspiration. I am determined to work hard and make this situation seem like nothing in the future. For when you believe in yourself and the GOD above, you will be greatly surprised what you can accomplish. This is living proof how a situation that appears bad become good. There was definitely something turned around today that i am ever so thankful for.

Some Thought

Today, i had a great challenge ahead of me.. to save money. My choice destination" Square One. Know we are all familiar with the phrase smart shopping. Well, i had to keep that in mind greatly. I was in search for a great outfit, something that would make a huge statement; yet inexpensive. If you think about that.. that could be viewed as an oxymoron;but, anything is possible right? I searched many stores; however, it was very difficult to find what i was looking for under my category: statement made and inexpensive. Quite some time later, i found the top. It was a nice purple and although quite pricey i decided to take it because the store is known to have high prices. Therefore, the price was not so bad. Then suddenly, the topic of jewelry came up and again i had my category in mind. The two accessories i had in mind were black that definitely made my outfit very strong. However, the price was one thing that had me rethinking. I bought the accessories and my total came to a great price that i never had intended. As a continued my journey around the mall i could not stop thinking about the price of the accessories. After much debate over whether or not i would keep them i decided to return them. When i returned to the store with the items i received my money back. In total the two accessories were about $50.00. My eyes grew wide and i knew that although it was nice, a sacrifice had to be made. Afterwards, i felt good knowing that i made the right decision in bringing them back. I knew that there had to be accessories some where else that were just as nice with a lower price.

This situation had taught me a lesson: Smart shopping can be hard; but, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Money is hard to come by these days, and since we are in a rescission it is not getting easier. People tend to just buy what feels good in the moment. Not realizing until they get home that what they bought is not what they no longer want or need. Money is one thing that i feel we need to take more seriously in certain moments. I can definitely say that i made the right decision in not buying those accessories. Saving your money is the way to go and it benefits you in th end. So when you are going shopping set a limit for yourself. know what is worth the money and what is not. Money is something that you have to earn..so why not spend it on something that it worth it? That it what i plan to do.

Think about the $ before you spend it.

Lead Me To The Cross

There is a passion that rests in my heart for a savior such as GOD that exists all around me. Many people may judge you and ask? "Why are you a Christian?Why are you so holy. Well, first of to be a Christian is the greatest honor that one can be called and second, i am so holy because i made a personally decision to be. You see, many people tend to criticize what they do not understand. There is a stereotype that people presume that Christians have to be perfect. Judged on every move that does not seem to fit their views of Christianity. However, the funny thing is if GOD does not intend for us to be perfect. then why do other people intend for us too. Is it not GOD we are serving for? Yes, there are things that a Christian should not do and yes there are places that a Christian should not go.But that does not mean that we are picky or that we do not do anything fun. It simply means that we have morals and values that many are not afraid to follow. It takes a true Christian to be confident because you have to live a life that is different. A life so different that few people understand its concept. I understand this concept and i would never want to follow another. Although, people can be disrespectful i do not care because i am not ashamed of who i am and the GOD that i serve. When my GOD was alive he went through a lot of hard times because of the disrespect of others. But he made it through, just like i will as the future progresses. I think of it as following in his foot steps. Thats my goal and i succeed on a daily basis. Christian music is my favorite music to listen because it gives me more inspiration, strength and peace than any secular genre. I love the GOD that i serve and i pray that you will get to know him too. There is a beautiful Christian song by Hillsongs, a Christian band: its called, Lead Me To The Cross. Lord, my desire is for you to lead me to the cross.

Before The Storm

When the storm happens you seem to be over taken by fear that you never known existed within you. The storm develops as the time passes by. The lighting strikes, the thunder rolls and the rain falls down on your face. You give yourself the impression that you can never make it to the end of that last drop of rain that comes with that fresh welcoming of the sun. The rain continues to fall and you simply drench yourself in water; allowing depression to follow. Your clothes beginning to feel heavy as if you were carrying a another human on your back. You think to yourself: "Whats the point in trying to fight something bigger than me?" You look down at the small puddle below your feet. The reflection of a girl so lost within herself stares back. Eyes so cold, eyes that cry out for help. That girl is you. You look up to the sky and with a voice so weak you scream: "WHO IS GOING TO HELP ME?" Tears of mercy begin to fall. Who is going to help her? Suddenly an angelic voice begins to speak. The voice of GOD. As he begins to speak to her; hope begins to develop within her soul.

She is overcome with great strength that just a few minutes ago, she never thought would be given to her. She stands up in the rain and begins to enjoy the rain drops, allowing it to wash away all negativity. She feels a sense of cleanliness that she needed in her life. She begins to dance, splashing in every puddle that the ground had created. A laughter begins to ring in the distance. A laughter so beautifully and full of peace and strength. Suddenly the thunder gives it last strike, the thunder rolls more more time and the rain releases its last drops. The girl looks up to find the parting of the clouds, introducing the sun to a world waiting upon its arrival. The girl continues to look up in awe of this beautiful wonder and whispers a silent thank you that was spoken to the lord that saved her from the storm. Who was that girl? That girl that learned to enjoy the rain? That girl was me. In life we all face situations that come like a violent storm and because it is so difficult we make ourselves believe that we can not make through. However, we can. I believe that there is a GOD in heaven who can and will rescue us from our troubles. I have learned that instead of waiting for the storm to pass, dance in the rain and find positivity in what is viewed negatively.

There is a quote that i find is one of my personal favorite: "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. Its about learning to dance in the rain." This quote inspires you to be strong during the storms that occur in my life. I want to be ready to fight and overcome even before the storm.

Walking In The Field

Apart of me is very taken back by the beauty of nature. The country is where i love to be because it brings peace and joy to your heart while thinking about the blessing of life. Its amazing to see how everything unfolds in the spring and summer. In the winter, the ground is covered in a white blanket so clean. Nature is a complex thing that many people do not understand. When people ask: "Why do you like nature so much?" Well, that question has a long answer. I love nature so much because of the clean feeling that it brings and the richness that it can bring to your soul. It allows you to take sometime to appreciate life and think about the God that created all these wonders. There is so much to take in while in that setting. It brings a sense of appreciation and happiness for the flowers, the trees and even the rolling hills that are in the distance. It's beautiful. Its very beautiful. And when i connect with nature it makes me feel beautiful too.

I think that many people take advantage of nature; which is one thing that we all should not do. Many trees and wildlife are destroyed because of the expanding economy. This being said, we should enjoy what nature and wildlife we do have and remember how important they are as well. If you can, take some time to walk in the field. Smell the fresh air and listen to sounds of nature.

It is a reliving thing.

Don't walk away

Have you ever thought of why people give up so fast? Ready to move on; however, feeling no sense of accomplishment? If you think about it : life can be hard; but life is what you make it. And yes.. thats is from Hannah Montana. But, its true. What seems like bad situations can always be brought into the light for a positive spin. In a scoiety where there are so many different opportunities we should be seizing them with everything inside of us rather than coming to the conclusion that it is too difficult or that was do not have what it takes. You are lying to yourself. Why bother do it? Why bring yourself down? Brining yourself down is no better than others doing it. What we all need as a society is more confidence; some people have that trait and others need to work on it. Walking away does not make things better; actually it makes things worse. What makes you stronger as a person is working hard through it all. That develops knowledge and experiences that can be carried with you forever. Those kinds of stuff can not be taking away from you or put to know use. So ask yourself where you are you going? Are you walking away in a direction that is no clearer than before or are you making it through the way you were meant too?

Where are you going?

A beautiful Sound Of Music

Know i had went awhile back; however, i can still remember the very moment. Sitting in the theater and watching the most popular musical come alive right before my eyes. The Sound of Music was a beautiful example of how music can bring light, hope, peace and love in the life of an individual. For those who are unaware of this musical; it is about a women named Maria whose goal is to become a nun in a convent. The original movie featured Julie Andrews; one of america's most amazing actresses as maria. The movie's setting was Austria. Furthermore, Maria tries very hard to become a nun; but, the Baroness has different plans for her. Instead, Maria is sent to be a governess for a time for a family of 7 children. The father of these children; Captain Von Trap, is a navy Captain and is constantly away. Ever since the death of his wife, he has been hiring governesses to take care of his children. The children treat Maria with the same respect that will get her to do the same thing that many others have done before her: Leave. Although, Maria senses their negativity, she puts it aside and focuses on what matters most. Bringing joy into the lives of the children that have been missing for quite some time. Maria uses her gift of music to inspire the children and the Captain to sing and allow the gate way of peace to enter into their lives. The Sound of Music is very family friendly and has a great message: Never give up. I recommend this movie to anyone who wants some inspiration, peace and happiness in their lives.

I thought that the movie was amazing; but, once i had the opportunity to see a live theater performance of the musical, i felt completely lost in the moment. Once it ended, i was thinking: "Wait, it cant be over. Is it really over?" The performance left me wondering what happening next; which are signs of success. You want the audience to feel that way and from the looks of my friends who attended as well, they did. For sure, my goal is to attend the theater performance of The Sound of Music again in the future. In my lifetime i want to watch movies that inspire me in many different aspects. I also know that there are many movies out there that i have yet to watch. I believe that The Sound Of Music is definitely on my list. The Sound Of Music has inspired me greatly. The Sound of Music encouraged me to never give up and to always look at life in a positive light know matter what. I also realized how powerful music can be. I knew music was beautiful;but, watching this movie i realized that there was so much more beauty within it.

The beauty thats within music is endless.

I love The Sound Of Music.

There Is So Much To Say..

There is so much that i can say about what my friends and i experienced on Wednesday October 28, 2009. First off, i will tell you where we went; we made a journey to Square One to visit the youth center. The Square One Youth Center is located inside of the large mall. I went to the Square One Youth Center (SOYC) to learn how to develop our campaign. For those who are unaware of our campaign it is called Silence The Sirens. Silence The Sirens is a non- profit campaign that targets the issue of youth violence. This campaign was created by 3 students; Sophia Nguyen, Darren Rowe and myself. Our goal is to bring awareness about youth violence as well as decrease the amount of violence and help those who need it get on the right track to creating a successful future.

If you want to learn more about our campaign please visit www.silencethesirens.webnode.com for more information on Silence The Sirens.

On that day, i had very high expectations about what was going to happen. There was a mixture of excitement and anxiousness in my stomach. But what i was worried about was.. what would i ask the people who managed the youth center? I wanted to get some good answers that could benefit my group when building up our campaign. When we arrived at the youth center, excitement and anxiousness began to build up again. Walking into the doors of the center, i saw about 5 youth in the room simply playing video games, cards or on the computer. The atmosphere felt very chill and laid back. Me, along with my group member observed the area and took some pictures that we could document on our experience. It was nice to have that time to really see what a youth center could look like. Afterwards, we spoke with a very nice gentlemen named Tim, who volunteers full-time at the youth center. He was great help in answering the tough questions we threw at him. Listening to what he had to say really empowered the group and myself. He made us feel that our goals and dreams can to achieve; with a little hard work of course.

The Square One Youth Center is a place where youth can be safe. Apart of they're goal is to get youth of the street and provide services that will help these kids provide a stronger future. Services include, housing, career and educational postings. This center is for youth between the ages of 12- 24 who can get information on community resources. There are many activities to be involved in and their is also counselling and support on any issues. There is internet access, resume assistance, volunteer opportunities, tutoring and social groups as well. Square One Youth Center takes in approximately 35 youth each day. Many youth come in and out from shelters that require them not to stay during the day. One of the questions that our group asked was, "How do you get them( youth) to come back?" Tim answered, "By accepting everyone. Just being myself, a regular person, to make them feel comfortable. As well as using my past experiences to empower those who are going through it right now." He dresses very casual rather than in a suit or a tie because he wants to be himself and dress like them. He doesn't want to come across as higher authority over these youth. Dressing as himself helps him to connect with the youth in the best way possible and make them feel that they are on the same level as him.

How do they measure progress? Through the amount of lives that they can touch as well as the amount of relationships that can be built. The level of trust is very important. The volunteers keep in touch with the youths education by looking at their report cards. Now funding was a big question mark that i needed to know about. The youth center is funded by PCC and Nexis. I was really enjoying the meeting up to this point; but i suddenly realized the colleague of different people on the wall. When the question about the wall came up i finally understood the meaning. It was not just a wall of pictures, it was a wall of empowerment and inspirations. People such as, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Bob Marley and President Barrack Obama; people who have overcome and achieved a lot for themselves and others. After the meeting, i took one last look at the Youth Center and took my final pictures. Leaving, i realized how successful the meeting was and how much i learned. I definitely felt determined and confident about our campaign and our goals. There is so much to say about our experience and i dont think there are an words to explain it.